First, I want to thank everyone that sent messages of love, healing energy, support and solidarity. It was and still is mind blowing how many people contacted me saying it hit home. I’m not at all surprised, sadly and that’s what really prompted me to write what I did and put it out publicly. It’s a huge problem and unfortunately, to be real, I only see it getting worse as the years go on. I think it’s a very important conversation both to regain our health but to help future generations, as well. Being able to recognize the importance of having a bulletproof nervous system and recognizing when there’s a break in the armor and gaining the tools to heal are vital for true and optimal health.
Second, I am not citing any particular information below from any experts nor do I claim to be any sort of expert on the topic, myself. PLEASE, do not take anything I say as fact. I have spent a good bit of time listening and reading to experts from many disciplines but most of what I offer below is based on experience.
Finally, this is truly a RAMBLE. I did not proofread this, I did not edit. You are going to find spelling/grammar errors. I flew through this because I wanted to get information out there to friends and family that asked for it. I feel confident in what I put out there but it is incomplete and you’re going to find things you probably disagree with/not connect with/might not work for you. I mostly flow through surface level ideas and topics without adding any depth to the science behind them but I assure you that there is much concrete scientific evidence behind just about everything I cover below.
I have a number of tools and practices I’ve found and rely on and will happily connect with anyone who wants to talk more on this. I’ll also likely add them to the bottom of this ramble as they come up in conversation.
Understanding the Nervous System
The nervous system is essentially the command center of your entire being. It includes the brain, spinal cord and the network of nerves that runs throughout the body. It sends signals from the brain to the body and vice versa. The nervous system includes the sympathetic, parasympathetic and enteric systems. The sympathetic is commonly referred to as “fight or flight” whereas the parasympathetic system is referred to as “rest and digest” and is focused on slowing the heart rate and respiratory system, as well as digestion and healing. Not entirely related to the point of this blog but the enteric system, for the record, is responsible more for autonomous motor functions like blood flow, immune and endocrine function, etc. In relation to this rambling, we’ll stick more to the parasympathetic/sympathetic OR “ rest and digest” systems. These systems are activated and de-activated through the release of hormones in our body given largely, though not exclusive to external stimuli…especially when bad habits become chronic.
Through evolution these systems exist essentially to keep us alive. Sympathetic systems are in place for when our early ancestors needed to activate “hyper mode” to hunt for food or to flee any danger they may have encountered, among other situations that would require a burst of energy and focus. Parasympathetic state was in place for when our needs were met, or at least mostly met (food, water, shelter and safety), our body and mind would shut down into a lower state of operating to allow ourselves to rest, digest, relax, recover and simply sustain. Our ancestors were able to maintain a sort of balance between these two systems/states in what is called homeostasis. Essentially they were able to flow between the two systems easily and quickly, as needed on any given situation. Absolute balance.
A very important piece regarding the sympathetic state is that the system is designed through evolution, only for short bursts of energy, focus, etc. Obviously not a scientifically sound term but I think when I say “hyper mode” it is an effective way of describing the sympathetic system. Consider a video game where you get a bonus to activate some sort of “turbo” mode that gives you extra power, speed, etc. It never lasts long, does it? It’s not sustainable. It uses a reserve of energy that you burn through quickly. Humans were not meant to sustain and live with this system activated for long periods of time…but here we are. Boy oh boy, here we are.
Lastly and kind of a random thought. We all have that one friend or family member that no matter what, seems to be unphased by stress in their own lives or in the happenings of the world. Stress, drama and strong emotions seem to bounce right off them. They’re able to shrug things off and continue on seemingly in a state of flow/balance. They likely don’t get super excited about things, too. They’re not a dud. They’re just in a more homeostatic state. We’re super envious. They don’t have some magic super power and likely aren’t taking some secret supplement. Simply put, their nervous system is more regulated. Some of it might be a genetic threshold for stress and some of it might be things they do, whether intentional or unintentional in their daily lives. It could simply be that they don’t consume stimulants, honestly. It’s all in the nervous system.
Modern Day
I won’t spend much time here because I think almost anyone reading this is aware of what I’m going to say but for the record, the amount of times you’ve read this is not some coincidence or theory. It is absolutely, confidently fact.
Today’s modern world is wreaking absolute havoc on our nervous system. From constant stimuli of technology, largely from our interactions with our phones and devices to the demands of our jobs and side hustles, to paying bills and more bills, taking care of children, finding time for socialization and our passions and hobbies, we spend most all of our time in the sympathetic state. As stated above, this is not sustainable. We consume an excess of stimulants, especially coffee, to keep up with the demand society and ourselves demand of our waking hours.
As to not make this piece entirely too long, I’ll get right into the things I do and I recommend others at least give a try if you’re finding some “burn out”, stress you cannot overcome, agitation or chronic fatigue you cannot figure out. I do think it’s important to consult a doctor or professional to rule out possible other causes but again, I truly think the root cause for a lot of undetermined systems are in the dysregulation of our nervous system. No pharmaceutical or test really is going to help you, here. It’s going to take some self control and work…and more importantly, lack of work to get back to homeostasis and health. Even if it is something else, learning to regulate your nervous system is NEVER a bad thing.
Before I cover specifics below, my number one piece of advice for when you’re worked up, over caffeinated, over stimulated, stressed, anxious…anything like that is to simply focus on your breath, specifically taking longer exhales than inhales. There’s a ton of tried and true breathing techniques out there but I’ve found simply taking longer exhales to be hugely impactful, scientifically sound and realistic.
Coffee
Coffee is not a bad thing, not even remotely...until you’re chugging four cups before 10am or drinking a double espresso at 5pm to finish a project. There’s a lot of studies that showcase the health benefits of coffee as part of our regular consumption. Coffee only becomes a problem when we consume too much out of “necessity”. Essentially…overconsumption and need for it when our bodies are screaming for rest is a recipe for a hard crash, both short term and chronic.
It’s not just coffee but any stimulant we rely on to wake us up in the morning and keep us going through the day needs to be considered, first and foremost. Most all of us live for our morning cup of coffee..and then a second, third and maybe fourth throughout the day. I’m right there with you. Usually, the last thing I think of at the end of the day is waking up to make my cup. Sad truth.
I cannot remember who I heard this from, but it probably wasn’t even their original quote. Essentially, the moment you start relying on coffee and feeling you “need” it, is exactly the moment you need to take a break from it and let your body reset from feeling that desire/need. Again, I know…not a chance. We all love coffee too much.
Think about it objectively though; if you feel you need a cup of coffee in the morning, really what that is, is your body and mind telling you it needs rest and recovery. Essentially when you consume that cup, you’re telling your body “Nope! We got shit to do, get your ass up and let’s go.” I mean, that’s cool for like a day or two if you’re meeting a deadline for a big work project or you’re on vacation and need to get going to get the kids to the amusement park or something but most all of us do this every, single day of our waking lives. Objectively, you are using a stimulant to do something as simple as getting out of bed to begin your day. Go ahead and defend it by thinking or saying aloud, “So, what?”. Objectively, this is not normal or OK. In short, you’re 100% burning through your reserve energy, day after day and relying on an “artificial” source of short lived energy.
Afternoon crash? Yeah, in simple terms, your system has come down from the stimulant and again, is telling you, “PLEASE can we rest, now?”. But you continue to ignore it.
Essentially, no human being in existence, scientifically, anatomically speaking should need coffee or any other stimulant to get through a day. Your body and mind has everything it needs, through evolution to make it from sun-up to sun-down and then some. I know many people who do not consume stimulants who have stable, solid energy throughout the day.
Can’t give up coffee? Try decaf, half-caf or even just limiting yourself to one cup a day. If you need a second cup, trying a cup of Matcha or other green tea, instead. Green teas, especially matcha have an amino acid called L-Theanine that promotes a more calm, focused state of being. Tea also has slightly less caffeine.
Also worth noting before we move on, there are a lot of studies that are showing if you’re going to drink coffee, not to do it upon waking up. It’s best to wait 60-90 minutes after waking to consume it. If you just cannot live without that cup in hand as you sit on the couch in peace to wake up in the morning, let your first cup be decaf. A big benefit of this is that you’ll likely find you won’t experience an afternoon crash.
Movement and NOT Movement
Using the word movement is intentional. I do not use workout, yoga, walking, running, or any other more specific activity, though all of those are obviously movement practices. Everyone is going to be at a different level and will respond differently to various movements. You’ll have to figure out where you’re at and what you respond best to. A five minute walk is 100% better than no movement at all.
Regardless of the movement, do something and do it consistently. If you’re able, switch movements often to keep your mind and body adapting. I’ll cover some of this why below in the Posture section but essentially movement is key because it’s what we’ve evolved to do and needs to be a regular routine to stay healthy, to stay sharp and to prevent early physical and mental decline or aging. It helps to balance our systems in every way. And dare I say (Yes, I do), regular movement actually CREATES energy? This is an undeniable truth. Beginning the movement or workout is the hardest part but very, very rarely have I ever heard or experience someone saying “I regret that” because it ignites us every, single time.
But what’s with the “NOT movement” written above? While moving is so crucial to our well-being and longevity as humans, it’s the coming down and in between movement that I actually see as very important work, maybe even more important than the movement itself. This is largely my own theory and can honestly say I’ve never seen it presented as a theory or fact. Movement releases feel good hormones like adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. That’s undeniable. Movement keeps our bodies limber and strong. But obviously we cannot workout or move every waking hour of our lives for many reasons.
When we’re done with our workout or hours before our workout, I find it very important to stay cognizant of our state of being. If you get done with a workout and you still have the same energy hours after the workout with the inability to come down from sympathetic state and back into parasympathetic baseline, that’s entirely unsustainable. We need to learn to quickly return to parasympathetic state. I personally find breathwork and mindfulness practices the best way to accomplish this.
If a workout is the only way we find ourselves able to deal with stress or tension in life, that, too is unsustainable. Take this example (as I went through this and know many people who also have/currently are). Working out or movement is a tool or resource to help combat stress/tension/depression, etc. and many of us rely on this sole practice. I hope this never happens to you but what happens if/when you get injured, especially for more than a couple weeks and it prevents you from doing that movement? What happens if you’re on a work trip (often a stressful experience) and there’s not time to get your movement in? Doesn’t it seem like a good life choice to have other tools in the tool bag to combat the negative emotions/stressors life throws at us?
I personally went through a period where I was running 60-80 miles a week on average, had surgeries on both hips and went to running zero miles for a number of years. It wreaked havoc on me because I had no other tools to cope physically and mentally. It was not a good place to be.
While we’re not moving or working out, I find it important to set aside time to find, fine tune and consistently work on building this arsenal of other modalities and practices that do not involve intense movement to help us through our lives when movement is not available. The obvious goal here is these practice or modalities help us return or remain in parasympathetic baseline.
Sleep Habits
We all need to sleep, obviously. Recommended daily sleep is somewhere between 7-8 hours. Some people can squeak by on a little less but no one needs more than 8 hours at any given time. But sleep is so much more than just closing your eyes and waking up in the morning. Sleep is all about the QUALITY of rest you’re giving your mind and body. To get quality sleep, there are some simple techniques I highly recommend that require you to break some bad habits. You’ve likely seen this but again, its not just a light hearted recommdation. These are cold hard facts and you’re greatly hurting opportunity to rest and recover if you’re not doing these things.
Stop scrolling. Seriously, stop scrolling. It’s easily number one on my list. Simply, both the artificial light and mental stimulation of scrolling your phone before bed will greatly disrupt any chance of quality sleep.
No food (this includes snacks) at least three hours before bed. Sometimes this is hard and even impossible but its something to keep in mind if you’re wanting better quality sleep. The idea is simply that when we get into sleep state, we want our body to be focused on regenerating and recovering, not digesting calories.
No caffeine after 12pm. Again, just something to keep in mind. You might be saying to yourself, “I can drink two shots of espresso at 7pm and be out cold by 9pm”. That’s nice. You might be sleeping but you’re without question not getting quality sleep if you’re doing that. Studies show anything after 12pm greatly increases your chance of poor sleep.
Get ample sunlight first thing in the morning. How can this affect your sleep? Well, it kick starts your circadian rhythm and gets your body and mind more in sync with waking and settling down for the night, in short. If you’re waking well before the sun rises, turn on as many lights as you can. While it’s not quite the same as direct sunlight, it still helps a ton.
Three more that I won’t go into any more detail on but will help. Feel free to look into them on your own. Wear an eye mask. Sleep in a cold room. If you’re drinking water near bedtime, do not chug it. Sip water before bed.
Alcohol
Alcohol is a tough, complex topic largely because it’s engrained in our society as part of social gathering and entertainment and so many of us are unable or uninterested in giving it up. To be honest though, the more I learn about alcohol, the more I truly question how it’s not a more controlled and arguably even banned substance. For the record, I very much enjoy a cold beer. I’m not sober or condoning you for consuming alcohol but to be frank, alcohol in NO way is good for you. It’s honestly poison for your body and mind. Just have to note that.
Much like coffee, it’s the overconsumption or reliance on alcohol to take us from one state (or nervous system) to another. If you like to have a celebratory beer or cocktail with friends or even a social drink, by all means. But again, relying on alcohol in any way is a red flag, even if you “completely have it under control”. If you had a rough day or week of work, if you’re under some major stress and reach for alcohol to “wind down” at the end of the day to help you relax and eventually sleep, I’m sorry to break it to you but it’s not actually helping you do either. You’re simply suppressing your system and tricking it into thinking it’s in the parasympathetic state. Furthermore, alcohol before bed has been proven time and time again to really disrupt sleep.
I am not condoning alcohol but simply being aware of how, why and when you’re consuming it is worth considering.
Spiritual Practice
Please don’t stop reading. This is not necessarily what you think. But I will start by saying that any previous society or civilization has very clearly documented ties, beliefs and practices in some spiritual practice. Whether astronomy, some sentient being or beings, aspects of nature or simply recognizing and interacting with spirit within oneself, humans have long connected to spirituality.
So many of us, with our busy lives, deadlines and stressors have lost this aspect of ourselves and our connection to something greater. It’s a tragedy and something I truly believe is a pillar in human health and finding homeostasis.
You do not have to find God, Buddha, Allah or some other major religious figure to connect with spirituality. It could simply be a gratitude practice first thing upon waking or going to bed, connecting with nature and regularly recognizing her grandeur and complexity of life or even a regular breath-work practice. I want to go into greater detail about breath-work and its powerful. If nothing else, having some sort of practice allows you to focus/meditate on that particular subject (often with feelings of love, connectedness, awe, gratitude, etc.) while shutting the rest of the world off. In a way, you can view it as a sort of meditative restful period of time.
Saying NO
You’ve likely read this in an inspirational Instagram post or blog elsewhere. It’s something I really struggle with. I don’t like to rub people the wrong way and I don’t like to miss out on an opportunity. Saying no can be powerful for creating freedom and balance in your life, especially for those of us that are raising our hands as YES people, all too often.
The idea is that for any extra curricular, whether it be a social event, side hustle, entertainment event, etc. if it doesn’t totally light you up, you should say no. Save your energy and time for the good stuff in life. While the idea is sound, obviously sometimes we just need to do things we don’t necessarily want to. That’s reality. I just have to recognize that But keep the idea in the back of your pocket and use it if you’re uncertain of your answer. Am I actually excited by this?
We have a finite amount of time and energy and so many of us have full calendars, these days. Everything you’re saying yes to, objectively, is closing you off to saying yes to something else. This isn’t necessarily good or bad, just something to consider. Is this truly what you want to be doing with your time and energy?
Saying no is not a selfish or rude decision. All of us as humans need to tend to our own needs first and foremost. If we’re able to take care of and meet our own needs, we can more fully show up for others and/or the opportunities that arise. If someone takes it personally, that’s their problem, not yours.
Posture
A topic I could also spend a lot of time on and might in a different post at a later date but posture affects are lives in a much greater way than you might realize. First off, though its worth noting that humans set ourselves aside from the rest of the animal kingdom when we stood up on two feet and started using our upper limbs for gathering, building tools and moving through the world in a whole new way. We are evolved an anatomically structured to stand up tall, breathe deep and see the world from an elevated stance.
So, what did we do within the last 40-50 years (a relative blink of an eye in evolutionary time)? We sat down. We sat down for 6-9 hours a day, shoulders rounded forward, shutting off true lung/breathing capacity, putting added pressure on our spinal cord and nervous system and creating a state of stagnancy, something humans are not made for. Cell phones have made it 100x worse because when we’re not sitting, staring at a work screen, we’re now even more hunched over looking down at a smaller screen for longer periods of time. Furthermore, work deadlines, a multitude of ways to connect with people, a piling high email inbox, chugging that third cup of coffee next to the keyboard…we’re hugely operating in our sympathetic system, while sitting still for 8 hours a day. That is absolutely F***ED.
But at the same time, we have jobs and responsibilities and it is what it is, honestly. Get a standing desk. Get a chair that promotes better quality. Set your screen on a platform that forces you to look straight ahead or even slightly up. Get up out of your chair every 20-30 minutes and go for a short walk, do some squats and/or raise your arms over your head. Don’t do anything crazy, just get out of that posture if and when you can.
Awareness
I’ll end here, though there are so many more things I’d love to cover. If you want to connect with me further, I’m here for it. I didn’t go much into greater detail in my Instagram post but I went through a really rough time and still find myself having “episodes”. It was both scary and incredibly disorienting as overnight I felt like I went from normal to this feeling that somewhat cut the wires and re-wired them entirely wrong. It lasted for a long time. I feel for anyone going through a similar thing.
I think one of the very most important aspects to regaining control of your nervous system is having a basic understanding of awareness of your own body, your own mind, your own systems. Everyone is different and is going to respond differently to certain practices, foods, movements, etc. Tuning into self is important work.
For so many of us, this tense, high stress state of living has become our baseline norm and for so many, we just live it until our being puts up a wall or just fails to operate anymore out of pure exhaustion and lack of energy. I truly believe that’s what happened to me. I wish I could say I was better soon after this realization but it took me quite a while to start to feel good. I’m still getting there and I know it will be a lifelong tug of war, push and pull, balancing act of finding homeostasis.